Saturday Songs

Just letting you know, if you're in the San Diego area...I'll be playing 3 songs today at 2:00PM PT at the Open Mic Rancho San Diego. This will be in the outdoor courtyard at Starbucks at 2512 Jamacha Blvd in El Cajon if weather permits. If it's too cold or rainy, we'll be at Anna's Family Restaurant instead, at 8099 Broadway in Lemon Grove.

Of Love, Mountaintops and Jet-Packs

The Cover of Seahawks' Self-Titled Album

I realized after my post yesterday that I didn't share too much of what was going on for me mentally and emotionally at the open mic at the 710 Beach Club Wednesday night.

I've been feeling a lot of fear around my performing recently.  I feel like performers aren't supposed to talk about such things.  I do have a confidence and a strength in what I do, that comes from years of performing with my two bands.

But since I landed in San Diego, things have felt very different.  I don't have a regular back-up band yet, so on most occasions I perform alone.  I've been doing open mics, so there are always many, many other performers there.  I finish, and the next person is already playing in another couple of minutes.  I am living my life in much healthier ways these days.  Which means on stage, I am by myself, and I don't have some of the psychological crutches I kept in my life to help temper my thoughts and emotions.

Performing my own songs in front of strangers is still a scary thing for me.  The thoughts that create the fear seem to race through my mind at incredible speed.  Perhaps some of them are even subconscious, not detectable to my conscious mind.  As near as I can discern, most of them go something like this: "What if you fail?" "You will fail!" "You will embarrass and humiliate yourself." "You are not talented enough." "You're not talented at all." "You have no right to be up here on stage." "You will never succeed at this." "People in your life will remember you as a failure." "You're a terrible guitar player." [I hear that one A LOT in my mind.] "You had your chance before, with your bands - none of that worked out, so your chance is gone." "You're too old." "You're not good-looking enough." "Your style of songwriting is too all-over-the-place." "Your sound isn't radio-friendly enough." And on and on and on like that.  I think you get the idea!

I now believe that voice in my head, that says these things to terrify me, does not tell the truth, ever.  It feels that what I am doing is dangerous, that it opens me up to ridicule, judgement, criticism, condemnation from others.  So I guess its solution is to try to condemn me and get me to quit.  In that way, I might be protected from criticism from others.  If I never write, rehearse, record, or play a song for someone else, no one can really say it sucks, can they?

But I am really quite weary of this internal abuse I perform against myself.  I now believe that although I have no idea where it will lead, EVER, I am called to create and share music with people, and that is enough.  I believe that The Universe is an abundant one which delights in the creations of all of us, its little citizens.  I believe it has supported me, is supporting me, and will continue to support me as long as I feel truly called to do this.

I told a fellow musician and dear friend on the phone recently, that without my bands on stage with me, and without my former distractions to distract me, I feel like I have jumped off a cliff without a net.  But really, I now believe that because I have done this and continue to do this, The Universe won't give me a net.  It has given me a jet-pack.  Flying with a jet-pack is still scary at first.  But I really don't need to worry about falling to my annihilation any more.

Sunday night I went to see my friend Larry Bates, who is playing Dr. Martin Luther King in a stunning, two-person play called The Mountaintop by Katori Hall, here at San Diego Repertory Theatre.  The play is amazing, and for me it was a lot about our connection to the overall power or powers of the Universe, and the amazing things one man did with his brief, human life.

At the open mic at Rebecca's this past Tuesday night, my new friend Rory Bloch played an instrumental song he wrote called "Mountaintops."  I loved the song and something about the title stuck with me.  

Yesterday I was listening to an album of amazing instrumental music I bought a while back on iTunes for my iPhone.  It's by a band called Seahawks, and it's their self-titled record.  This album is one of the few I own which helps me feel connected to a powerful, loving, supportive Universe every moment I listen.  I suddenly realized that one of my favorite songs on it is the first track, and it's called "Love on a Mountaintop."  I'd looked at the album cover on my iPhone many, many times.  But yesterday I really looked at it for the first time.  It's the picture at the top-left of this post.

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Pretty Blades in Pacific Beach

Just before going on last night, outside the 710 Beach Club

Last night I played the open mic at the 710 Beach Club, in the Pacific Beach section of San Diego, for the second week in a row.


The night before on Facebook, my good friend Martin from the band Plumerai in Boston suggested I play my songs "Binge" and "Motherfucker" soon at an open mic.  These are both songs I recorded with my first band Victor Bravo.  "Binge" was on our first record, the 4-song Shut Out the Sky EP.  "Motherfucker" appeared on both our second record, the 7-song EP Sky Full of Messages, and our first LP, Hammer Meets Fire.  They were both staples of the VB live set throughout our existence.

Once "Motherfucker" was written and performance-ready, we pretty much used it as our set-closer at every show for over three years running.  It was always a crowd favorite.  It is also the only song of mine I know of so far of which anyone has ever attempted a cover of...Martin's band Plumerai played an instrumental version of it at The Cantab Lounge in Boston a couple of years back (which, although amazing, I did not recognize until Martin told me after the show what it was!) 

I've played both these songs live solo before, but it had been a while since I had.  So last night, I led off with "Binge," and then played my relatively new song "Pretty Blade Trickster." If you've been following my blog lately, you know I play that one pretty much every time now.  I finished with "Motherfucker," just like in the VB days.  So it ended up being a much more punk rock-heavy set than I have played so far.  But I really enjoyed it, as the two older songs have always allowed me to get into the emotion of them quite easily

The folks hanging out at the 710 Beach Club were attentive and very appreciative.  

Oh, I wanted to mention...I sold my first CD in San Diego yesterday, a copy of my first solo acoustic record, The Darkness and The Light.  In the past, I have at times had a habit of not being grateful for good things that happen through my music.  Because, to my inflated ego at the time, the number wasn't high enough.  Now I am working on shifting to an attitude of being grateful for every wonderful thing that happens on my journey with music, regardless of size.  So I am VERY psyched to have my first CD sale in San Diego in the bag!

Looks like the next two days I'll mainly be playing and practicing at home, in preparation for the Open Mic Rancho San Diego on Saturday.  I'll be playing three songs there, perhaps again with a drummer and bass player.  I'm scheduled to go on at 2:00PM PT.  If it is sunny and warm, it will be held in the gorgeous, outdoor courtyard at Starbucks at 2512 Jamacha Road.  If it is raining or too chilly (a rarity in these parts, but it does happen occasionally), it will be moved to Anna's Family Restaurant, 8099 Broadway in Lemon Grove.

Thanks for visiting and reading!

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Rockin' at Rebecca's

Photo by Rory Bloch

I played Charlie California's Tuesday Night Open Mic at Rebecca's Coffee Shop in the South Park part of San Diego last night.  To my absolute delight, I got to open the whole evening, playing first at 7:00pm PT.

I played three songs, starting off with "Fly, Baby, Fly," continuing with "Pretty Blade Trickster" - which again felt really good to me live - and finishing with "Junk."  "Junk" is a song I worked up and recorded with my former band Victor Bravo.  It's always been a favorite of mine and lots of people have mentioned to me that they enjoy it.  I think I only played it a handful of times live with Victor Bravo, and that would have been the very loud, raunchy, punk rock version of it.  So it was great to play the gentler-but-still-rockin' solo version live.  I saw heads bobbing to it in the crowd so I think it was well received.

The people in the audience were really great last night.  The place is fully lit, and it was great to be able to see people and really play to them from the stage.  Thanks so much to the Emcee and Host Charlie, and the musician Kimo, who sets up all the equipment, runs the sound board and helps keep things running smoothly.  He mic'ed up my amp that I brought with me at literally the last minute, which I'm very grateful for.

Thanks to my new friend Rory Bloch for taking my iPhone and snapping the photo of me above while I played.  

I'm going to the 710 Beach Club in the Pacific Beach area tonight (Wendesday night), at 710 Garnet Avenue, with hopes to play their open mic for the second week in a row.  That goes from 9:00-11:00PM PT.  Martin Newman of the band Plumerai has voiced support on my Facebook page to play my songs "Binge" (see the music video HERE) and "Motherfucker" (see a LIVE from The Basement performance of it HERE) live, so I'm planning to play those tonight if I get the chance, along with "Pretty Blade Trickster."

I shot video of a couple of performers I saw at Rebecca's last night that I enjoyed, and thought you might also.  This first one is of Eric Bender, playing his song "This Song's for You," which was his set-closer last night and really had everyone in the place bouncing in their seats.




This second one is the first song by an amazingly talented young woman, 17-year-old Raelee Nikole.  In this video she's playing her song "On Your Own," and is joined by Kimo on percussion.  She has a show at Lestat's West (the same place I finally got to play the open mic at two nights ago) tomorrow (Thursday) night.  If you're in the San Diego area I'm sure she would love your support in coming out to see her.  Thanks so much for reading!

 

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So? Did you? DID YOU???

Last night I went to Lestat's here in San Diego to attempt to play their open mic night for the 3rd Monday night in a row.  There are about twice as many performers each week as they have time slots, so each person who wants to play music or do comedy writes their name on a little slip of paper and tosses it into a closed container.  Then around 6:30pm PT there is a drawing of the names.  Each person whose name is drawn gets to pick their time slot from whatever remain, until all the time slots are filled.  So if my name is not called before the last time slot is taken, I don't get to play and have to come back the next Monday night to try again.

They do have a rule that says any hopeful performer who comes three weeks in a row and does not get their name drawn for a time slot each time, automatically gets a time slot the next week.

The time slots start at the beginning of the open mic at 7:00pm PT, and continue in 10 minute increments until the final time slot of the evening, jokingly called "The Headliner," at 11:00pm.  That makes 25 ten-minute time slots.  Not all the time slots are available for the drawing.  Anyone who has racked up 3 consecutive losses in the previous weeks' drawing takes one of the slots.  And I believe, although I am not sure, they also sometimes give a small number of slots away beforehand, to local performers who have a full show of their own coming up soon at Lestat's.

So in this video, which I shot myself with my iPhone camera, you are me - you are watching the proceedings from my precise vantage point last night, as I watched them unfold live.  You are waiting - like me - to see who gets picked, and if I will be one of them.  Appearing in the video are the regular host and co-host of this open mic, musicians Chad Taggert and Chris Carpenter respectively, and the volunteer-friendly-assistant-of-the-week, who goes by Buzz.

Tonight I will be going to play Charlie California's Tuesday Night Open Mic at Rebecca's Coffee Shop, at 3015 Juniper Street in the South Park neighborhood of San Diego.  That goes from 7:00 to 9:30pm PT.  Tomorrow night I'll be going to play the Wednesday Night Open Mic at the 710 Beach Club at 710 Garnet Avenue in Pacific Beach.  That one goes from 9:00 to 11:00pm PT.  

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Live Video: 'Home of Love' at Hooley's

This is live video of me playing my song "Home of Love" at Hooley's Irish Bar and Restaurant in Rancho San Diego this past Saturday. Watching it reminds me of how much fun I had! Big thanks again to Teri Hoffman and Paul Grinvalsky for setting up not just the entire open mic, but also doing all the filming and posting to YouTube.

I might be playing again tonight at the Lestat's Open Mic, depending on how the drawing for who will perform goes.  Check back tomorrow for news on that.  Thanks again for reading and watching. 

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Magical Music in Rancho San Diego

Yesterday I had the privilege of playing the Open Mic Rancho San Diego, which is one of the friendliest gatherings of local musicians I have come across.  It's a group of people from this part of San Diego they call East County, who just love to play, listen to, and support music.  

The venue changes from Saturday to Saturday, being held in a different spot in this part of the city.  Yesterday it was held at Hooley's Irish Bar and Restaurant, on Jamacha (pronounced "Hamishaw") Boulevard.  They have a wonderful back room with a large stage and great seating area, which made for the most pleasant of settings.

All the musicians were accompanied by the very talented drummer Dave Farrell and the amazing bass player John "J-Rod" Rodriguez.  I played two songs for the first time live in front of an in-person audience.  I started off with "Dancing Wheels," and then played "Love by the Lake."  It was so incredible to not only play these for a live audience for the first time, but to have basically a full band with me as I did!  Dave and John just followed my lead expertly, and my songs came to life in a way I had not previously experienced.  

I closed my set with "Home of Love," and although we needed a moment or two to sync back up for the tempo change near the end, by the song's conclusion I was on a pretty big natural high.  I have played that one for a live audience several times before, but never with bass and drums.  It felt pretty awesome.

All the performances at this open mic are videoed, and I am told a video of one of the three songs I performed with Dave and John will be posted on their YouTube Channel very soon.  I will of course post it here as soon as it is available.

I want to thank everyone in this wonderful group for putting on such a magical event yesterday, and especially thank Steve Roche, Teri Hoffman and Paul Grinvalsky for organizing it all, doing all the publicity, and being so incredibly friendly and welcoming to myself, a stranger new to town.

You can check out Open Mic Rancho San Diego on their Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/openmicranchosandiego.

Singer & Co-Organizer Teri Hoffman Sets Up at
Hooley's Yesterday (Singer-Guitarist and Fellow
Co-Organizer Paul Girnvalsky Sets Up Behind Her)

At the very top of this post is a video of a performer from last week's Open Mic Rancho San Diego, held outside in the courtyard of the Starbucks just down the road from Hooley's.  It's an original song called "Forever," written and performed by 13-year-old Phili Villalobos.  The description on YouTube suggests that it is about a family member with Alzheimer's.  I just think it's beautiful.

Will take my third consecutive, weekly attempt to play the Lestat's Open Mic tomorrow night, followed by the open mic at Rebecca's Coffee Shop Tuesday night.  Thank you so much for visiting and reading my blog.  Have a fantastic day.



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The San Diego Live Debut Finally Happens

The Stage at The 710 Beach Club, Shortly Before Showtime

The threat of it has been here since the open mic night at Lestat's a week ago this past Monday.  Last night, it finally happened.

I got to the 710 Beach Club in Pacific Beach ("P.B.," as they call it 'round these parts) super-early, to have the best chance of getting my name on the sign-up sheet for the open mic.  It paid off, and I got the 6th slot of the night.

So somewhere around 10:20pm, I went on stage and played three songs.  I opened with "Home of Love," went on to "Pretty Blade Trickster," and closed with "Fly, Baby, Fly."  There was a good crowd and they were very appreciative.  I had played "Pretty Blade Trickster" on my online show LIVE from The Basement last year, but this was the first time playing it on stage in a venue, through a sound system for a live, in-person audience.  It sounded REALLY good to me, very powerful.

As I mentioned in a previous post, that was the first time for me playing before a live, in-person audience since May of 2012.  I was very glad that last week, I attended that open mic as an audience member without trying to play it myself.  It helped me feel much more comfortable during the day yesterday, and really the whole time leading up to when I went on.

As I played, I was feeling and experiencing a wide mix of things.  There was some basic stage nervousness, which was totally to be expected.  But a lot of the confidence from all my previous live performing experience was also suddenly there like a fairly solid foundation for me, which felt good.  As I watched the first five acts who performed before me, I did get into some of my old thinking patterns of comparing myself to the other musicians, thinking things like "Oh, he's way better than me," and "That song is much more radio-friendly, he has a much better chance of making it to The Big Time than me."  That this line of thinking took a bit of a hold in my brain is disappointing, but again not unexpected.  I am in the midst of changing my whole thinking about my music and the world of art and creativity, and it's going to take time.

What I tried to replace those thoughts with is: "There's room for everybody," "I'm not going to take anyone else's success from them, and no one can take my success from me," "I accept that I'm not in charge of the details and specific ways that things happen with my music - I hold my vision clear and am just doing the footwork, one tiny step at a time."  I also tried to remind myself that I was there to HAVE FUN!  If I'M not having fun, how can anyone in the audience possibly have fun while I play?  It's amazing, these old thinking patterns that want me to perfectly chart out exactly how successful I will be, what form it will take, and on what extremely fast schedule it will all arrive.  Because of course I control so little of all this.  So much - almost all of it, actually - is up to The Universe and Powers Greater Than Me.  And that desire to control everything puts so much pressure on me...if it's all up to me, than that's a lot of pressure!

So one of my intentions last night was just to get better at relaxing, going with the flow of everything that happens, and allowing whatever is going to happen to unfold without resisting it or trying to force it do to otherwise.  I did all right, there is definitely room for improvement.  There were definitely moments throughout my three-song set, though, were I did feel for a moment or two that I was having a TON of fun and the time of my life.  That's something to be grateful for, I will just work on opening myself up to feeling that way more and more as time goes on.

I want to thank the people who went out of their way to mention to me afterward that they really enjoyed my set, so big thanks to Dan, Grady and Krystal.  I also want to give huge, huge thanks to my friend Milica, who zoomed over to P.B. on incredibly short notice, showed up just in time to see me start, and hung out with me afterwards to help me process the whole evening. That kind of support means so much to me, and I sincerely appreciate it.

I'm excited about playing the Open Mic Rancho San Diego at Hooley's Restaurant at 4:30pm PT on Saturday.  With one live San Diego performance now under my belt, it feels like the train has finally rolled out of the station, on its way to many more happy destinations!  Thanks so much for reading my blog here, have a great day!
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Third Time's a Charm?

Gregory Page playing the Lestat's Open Mic Monday night

So I went to the open mic night at Lestat's in Normal Heights for the second time Monday night.  I wrote my name on the little slip of paper, put it in the bowl, and went into their music venue next door to patiently wait.  24 names were drawn and announced, mine was not one of them.  Again.

Unlike last week, I decided to stay and watch a bunch of the other performers.  I got to see a bunch of really talented musicians, and I got very inspired.

In particular, a performer named Dan Gidley gave a heartfelt introduction to his two songs that was very emotional for me.  He explained that his wife passed away very unexpectedly five years ago.  He hadn't played guitar at that point in about 20 years, but he picked it up again and began writing songs to deal with his deep, intense grief.  His songs, "Where does somebody go when they die?" and "I'll never forget you," were works of such raw, vulnerable pain, I was moved to tears throughout.  He announced he had songs on soundcloud.com under the name dannygmusic, if you are interested in hearing for yourself.   

I really enjoyed myself at the open mic, but yesterday morning, it was back to playing and rehearsing at home for me.  Seems like my newest song, "Fly, Baby, Fly" is performance-ready, as is my new-ish tune "Pretty Blade Trickster," "Junk," "Picture of Your Touch," and "Home of Love."  I'm working on several relatively-new ones, "Bittersweet Departure," inspired by my leaving the East Coast for California, "Pretty Little Town," about the town I grew up in in Maine, "New Home," which should be self-explanatory LOL, "This Love," and "Sing + Dance."  If you're interested and not near San Diego at the moment, I have live videos of "Fly, Baby, Fly," "Pretty Blade Trickster" and "Bittersweet Departure" up on my official YouTube Channel (link at top-right of this page).

Tonight I'm going to attempt to play the Open Mic Night at the 710 Beach Club, at 710 Garnet Avenue in Pacific Beach.  The performances begin at 9:00pm PT.  There is some competition for time slots there, but last week it looked like so long as I got there a bit before the sign-up sheet opens up at 8:30, I would get to play.

I also just got confirmation of a time slot at the Open Mic Rancho San Diego this Saturday afternoon.  That's being held this week at Hooley's Restaurant at 2955 Jamacha Road. (If I've used GoogleMaps correctly, the city in the address is El Cajon, not San Diego - I still ask pardon for my S.D. "newbie-ness.")  That open mic goes all day beginning at 12:00noon PT, and I'm scheduled to play my three songs at 4:30pm.  The vibe there this past week was super-mellow, so I'm planning on playing "Dancing Wheels," "Love by the Lake," and "Home of Love."  So if you like slow, sappy love songs, come out for that.

All right, I'm headed to the beach for my morning walk.  After that, more playing and prepping for the open mic tonight in P.B.  Thanks so much for visiting here and reading, I truly appreciate it.

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The Mystery of Where Art Can Go, and Where It Can Take Us

Last night, at the suggestion of someone who is already a dear friend to me here in San Diego, I went to see the documentary film Searching for Sugar Man.  I don't want to put any spoilers whatsoever here, because I so highly recommend that you see this incredible film.

It is a story that is so amazing, I imagine it could capture the interest of anyone alive.  But it is especially important for both lovers of music and musicians.  

If you go to see it, many things may hit you about it, as they did me.  One thing I can share without giving anything away is that for me, it showed yet again that neither those of us who create art, nor those who enjoy and appreciate it, ever have any direct control over what happens once a work of art is sent out into the world.  I have been challenged for many years (I now see), and am still somewhat challenged even today, by my ego's desire to assert control over my music.  There's a voice in my head that says something like: "I'm not going to play my music for anyone, unless I know exactly where it's going to lead.  Because I'm not putting up with any scary surprises or disappointments."

But of course this is folly on my part.  Neither I, nor anyone who digs my music, has any control over where it goes.  Not over the course of one gig, not over the course of a decade.  We each just show up - musician, audience member, CD- or download-buyer, we play our individual part, and the rest is up to the mystery of The Universe. 

I think I've been aware since I wrote what I consider my first "real song," "Secrets Dark," in 2001, that I don't control the creativity itself.  I honestly couldn't tell you exactly where my songs come from.  Yes, I use my mind at points, draw from my real-life, past experiences.  But the entire tapestry of music and lyrics, all finally woven together into a sensible whole?  No clue how that happens.  For the most part I've always accepted this.

Lately, however, I've realized that the mystery doesn't extend just to the songs.  The entire journey of being an artist is one huge, wondrous mystery.  Who I meet along the way, where I go to play, who hears my songs, what they feel and do in response to it, who they tell, what they buy.  

I remember one time when my former band Victor Bravo was on tour somewhere in the Midwest, I had to pull the truck over (we were a 2-piece with not much gear, so we usually drove a big SUV like a Ford Escape, instead of the mythological touring van).  My bandmate Dan had arranged an interview on the phone between me and a college radio DJ somewhere in Illinois.  So I called the guy (or he called me, I can't recall precisely), and he asked me all sorts of questions, like what inspired the songs on our record, where we were playing on our tour, what plans we had to play shows in Illinois in the future.

All I was consciously thinking when I wrote "Secrets Dark" was something like, "Hey, I think this is an actual song.  I think it sounds pretty good, I kind of like it."  I knew nothing of the years of shows, records, two different bands, touring and other things to come.

And now here I am, newly moved to San Diego.  Two rock bands in my past, now solo, one EP and one LP under my belt, hoping to play my first open mic and get two songs in tonight.  Who knows what I'll be telling you a year from now.  It's the Big Mystery.  A pretty incredible ride.

(As a footnote to this, I was surprised to find on the internet several months ago that Victor Bravo's first record, Shut Out the Sky, was for sale on an online music sales site based in South Africa, for the whopping price of 32 cents.)

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Update from Me/Two Videos: Teeth of Mammals

So last week as I wrote here, I thought I would play my first San Diego open mic on Monday night.  Only to find out I would NOT play it, as they have a lottery to determine who gets to play and I was not picked.  But that ended up being a huge lesson for me, because I went to that open mic engulfed in my own perfectionism and forgetting what music is really about for everybody: having FUN.

That sparked a whole week of going to different open mics around the city, just to see what they were like and how they worked.  I went to the Tuesday night open mic at Rebecca's Coffee Shop in South Park.  Then to the Wednesday night one at the 710 Beach Club in Pacific Beach.  Yesterday, I went to the Rancho San Diego Open Mic, which is in the afternoon, and moves around to a different venue in that part of town each week.

In addition to this research, I have been doing something I have never done before that I am aware of.  I am making a point of playing music at home, and then writing some if I am so moved, every day. Most days I play for an hour or two.  On others, when my schedule is tight, I work in 10 minutes or so.  

So I am making sure that I play music for fun, and that I take little steps to share my music with others on a regular, consistent basis.  Slowly but surely, it seems like I am enjoying my music even more, and being more productive, all the time.

Tomorrow, I will set aside time to play music at home, and write if I get the urge. Tomorrow night, I am going back to Lestat's in Normal Heights.  I am going to write my name on a little piece of paper, and toss it in the bowl for their open mic lottery.  Then I will go to their performance space next door, to see if The Universe wants me to play that night.    

Today for your viewing and listening pleasure, I thought I would share a band I listened to again yesterday for the first time in a while.  They are called Teeth of Mammals, they are four guys - two singer/guitarists, a bassist and a drummer, from Reading, Pennsylvania.  They broke up in 2009 I believe, after creating one of the most amazing LPs in my collection, and a 4-song demo afterward. 

I had never heard of them before 2008 or so.  The punk rock band I was in at the time, Victor Bravo, went to Philadelphia to play a show with our friends from Catasaqua, PA called Cordova (later also known as The Cordova Academy Glee Club).  Teeth of Mammals were also on the bill with us.  Their live set was one of the most incredible rock shows I've ever seen put on.  I was really hoping to catch them many more times, when I sadly got news that they had disbanded and were no more.

I get really upset sometimes, when I think of really talented, amazing bands and musicians I have seen, who quit when they felt they needed to do so, but before so many more people got to experience their music.  I comfort myself with the notions that every band and person has their own, unique journey, which neither I nor anyone else can control, and that I am so grateful I got to experience them while they existed, and that I have their fantastic music, preserved forever in the recorded versions.

The video at the top of this post is a music video for their song, "Warm, Cloudy Day," which uses footage of them performing, but is set to a high-quality audio track from their self-titled, and one-and-only, LP.  This is so you can hear one of their songs in a high-quality format.

The second video of them below is a live video, shot at Fennario's in West Chester, PA on March 15, 2008.  In this one, they're performing "The Hospital Ruined My Life," the opening track of that same LP.  The audio quality is pretty low at points, but this video truly captures the energy these guys brought to their performances, and what it was like to be in the crowd for one of their shows.

One of several things I love about the video below is that after a while, as the viewer and listener, I truly lose the sense of where the band ends and its audience begins.  They all seem to be one unified force, having fun together.  That's really how it oughtta be, ain't it?


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My Friend's Exciting New Music Project: Sin + Seraphim

My first real musician friend here in San Diego is an amazing singer named Zoe Tantrum.  She and her musical partner Zeph Tragic have formed a new project called Sin + Seraphim.  You can check out and Like their Facebook page here: www.facebook.com/sinandseraphim 

Zoe and Zeph have posted some great clips of their brand-new material on Soundcloud.  You can listen to snippets of several songs here:



Zoe will be making her live performance debut with Sin + Seraphim at Bar Sinister in Hollywood (www.facebook.com/clubbarsinister) , this Saturday night, March 16, 2013, at 10:00pm PT.  (NOTE: You can get $5 off the cover by going in costume, details here:  Sin + Seraphim at Bar Sinister )

I am very excited for her, and can't wait to hear how it goes in L.A. Saturday night.

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The Gentler Approach: Open Mic Research

I believe I learned a lot from my experience at the open mic at Lestat's which I tried to play last night.  (See today's earlier post if you missed that story.) This morning I found another open mic, which was going to be tonight at 7:00pm PT at a place called Rebecca's Coffee Shop in the South Park section of town.  So instead of going to play, I went to watch, observe, learn, and talk to some of the people involved.  And it was fantastic!  I had so much fun, and I think picked up how that particular open mic works.  So now I'm excited to play it sometime soon.  (The one week of the month they don't hold this open mic on Tuesdays is the third week, which would be next week.  So two weeks from tonight will be my first shot.)

I wanted to share these two videos I shot while I was there, of two really great performances.  The first one, at the top, is solo performer Timothy Moran, playing 14-string electric luminog, harmonica, and foot-shaker.  You gotta watch it to believe all this guy does.  The second, below, is a band that formed just a month ago, called Mucho Macho.  Three very talented and friendly guys who combine for a great feel-good rock sound.  Check 'em out.


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So How Did the Gig Go, Collin?

At this point, I have come to believe that not only does everything happen for a reason, but that everything in my life happens for a good reason. That doesn't mean that every experience is pleasant and wonderful. It means that for me, whether I can see it or not at the time, things are always playing out in a way that in the long run, will be for the best.

There have just now been too many times when, in the moment, I have cursed some set of circumstances or series of events, only to later marvel at how necessary they were for some fantastic thing that happened to me down the line.

But this is a relatively new outlook on life for me.  So there are definitely still times when it is challenging for me, in the moment, to view one particular experience this way.  Last night was such a time.

First, although I was aware there were two different Lestat's Coffee Houses in San Diego, I was sure that the open mic I was ready to play was at the one on Park Boulevard.  I realize now there was no good reason to make this assumption.  I had been at Lestat's on Park once before, and there was a performance setting up in the back room.  I just never thought to myself, "Gee, maybe they do performances at the other Lestat's, too."

So last night, I got to Lestat's on Park, in the University Heights neighborhood, at 6:05pm PT, only to find that the back room was not set up for an open mic, or any sort of performance.  I inquired, and they told me the open mic was most likely at the other Lestat's, in the Normal Hieghts neighborhood, on Adams Avenue.  

So I tossed my guitar back into the back seat of my Honda Civic, found the address of the other Lestat's on my iPhone, entered it into my GPS, and started driving.  I was pretty anxious by this point. The website said sign-up for the open mic was at 6:00pm, followed by a drawing for time slots at 6:30.  It was now 6:15 as I drove to Adams Avenue.  Because I am new to San Diego, I had no idea how far away the other Lestat's was, until I looked at my GPS.  It was showing only 5 minutes of travel time, so luckily it was pretty close.

It was close, but at first I could not find any place nearby to park.  In addition, there was a large construction site just east of Lestat's on Adams Avenue, which made it challenging to drive around looking for a parking space.  But this is not Lower Manhattan, so after calming down a tiny bit and turning down one more side street, I pulled into a very convenient spot, hopped out, grabbed my guitar, and began hoofing it over to the other Lestat's.

Upon entering the coffee shop, I noticed 3 things.  First, there was nowhere for a performance to be happening.  The shop was very small, and had only a few tables and chairs.  Second, musicians were in line to write on little pieces of paper and toss them into a clear, plastic container.  I assumed they were signing up for the time slot drawing that had been mentioned on the website.  Third, once the musicians plunked their little piece of paper into the container, they were leaving, as if they were never coming back.

At this point my anxiety really ramped up.  My stomach was already in knots from believing I would soon perform in front of a live crowd for the first time in a very long time, compounded by the misstep of first going to the wrong Lestat's, and then compounded again by the unnecessarily frantic parking search.  Now there were just too many questions running through my already-addled mind: Where the heck do we play?  Where do they hold the drawing?  How exactly does the drawing work? Why are all the musicians just leaving?

My self-talk was now loud and clear in my mind: "I f___ing hate playing a new venue for the first time!"  Fortunately I was not moved to say this out loud.  But part of me does hate it.  Because of everything I've just described...everyone knows what's going on, where to go, and how it all works, but me.  Every gig I've ever played for the first time at a new place, whether it was an open mic in Manhattan, or a full set with my first band Victor Bravo in Cleveland, it's always been the same.  I walk in, and I'm frickin' clueless.  Until I talk to someone, or things just start happening, and it all begins to be revealed.

I saw several musicians head to the left when they departed the coffee shop.  No one was coming to collect the plastic container.  It was 6:35.  I figured: follow the crowd.  So I left the coffee shop, turned to the left, and voilà!  There is a second part to the Adams Avenue Lestat's, a small but cool performance space with a stage and a black curtain behind.  In fact, once I looked up, the separate doorway to this space had a huge marquis above it that read, in big black letters: "OPEN MIC NIGHT TONIGHT!"  Must have missed that in trying to avoid the construction mess...?

So a few minutes later, three people get up and announce the time slot drawing.  It is soon evident that there are about twice the number of musicians and comedians (it's an open mic for both types of performance) as there are time slots (of which there are 24 - one every 10 minutes, beginning at 7:00pm and ending at 11:00pm).  Names are pulled and called until all 24 time slots are filled.  My name is not called.  I will not be playing.  Better luck next time.

When I first read about this open mic on the website, I had thought to myself, "Drawing? I wonder if sometimes they have so many people come to play, that not everyone gets a time slot?" But then I dismissed that thought, as a prime example of some of my older, unfortunate patterns of negative thinking.  But here it was, my stray negative thought become reality.  I stayed for the first performer, not knowing exactly what to do next.  I had really wanted to play, and I wasn't going to be able to.  

In the middle of the second performer's second song, I left.  I went to my car, got in, and called my sister.  She helped me feel better.

So there I was, sitting in my car, about to drive home to Imperial Beach.  Mr. Silver Lining.  "Everything happens for a reason," I thought. "Everything is working out for my greatest good, whether I can see it now or not," I said to myself.  Yeah.  I wasn't buying it.

But what I remembered is: I'm rarely going to be able to see the silver lining right as this type of thing happens, or right afterward.  It's about trust.  That if I keep following my heart and doing what feels right, all roads will keep leading to a great life.  And my life is pretty great right now.  So I drove home and went straight to bed.

Then I woke up this morning and had the oddest thought.  "You know, by the time I got to the drawing last night, I was super-nervous.  I was a complete basketcase.  And most of that was because I didn't know where the place was, where to park, where to go once I got inside, what the stage looked like, how many people would be there, and how the drawing worked.  Now that I do know all of that, and when I go next Monday night, I'll probably be much less nervous."

Huh.  Look at that.  Just one possibility for the silver lining, 12 hours later.

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San Diego Debut Tonight at Lestat's on Park

First I want to thank everyone who reads my blog here. I just found out that I have passed 9,000 all-time views, which is absolutely amazing to me.  So thank you, thank you, thank you, for coming here again and again, and reading what I have to share about my journey as a musician.  

Tonight I will be playing the Open Mic Night at Lestat's on Park, at 4496 Park Boulevard, a coffee shop in the University Heights/Normal Heights part of San Diego.  I will attempt to send out a Facebook post (my page is at facebook.com/collindanielsfanpage) and a Tweet (my Twitter account is @collindaniels) letting people what time I end up being scheduled to go on.  The first performer is slated to start at 7:00pm PT, but there is supposed to be a drawing at 6:30pm to determine the order of performers, so it seems I will not know until then.

This will be the first time I play live in my new home of San Diego, the first time I have played live anywhere in 4 months, and the first live venue appearance since May of 2012, when I played a full set at Geno's Rock Club in Portland, Maine. 

Someone asked me yesterday if I was nervous, and a friend today asked me if I was excited.  My answer is yes to both.  I've done so much live performing over my history, that I feel like there is definitely a muscle-memory-kind-of-thing that thankfully has not left me.  But certainly performing in front of a real audience for the first time in a while, combined with playing in a city I've never played before, and at a venue I've never played before, brings some apprehension for me.

According to the information I have at present, each performer is allowed to play 2 songs, not to exceed 10 minutes combined.  I've chosen one brand-new song, "Fly, Baby, Fly," which I posted a live home video of here last Tuesday, and one relatively-new song I wrote before my move to California, "Pretty Blade Trickster."  You can see and hear that one in some of the later episodes of LIVE from The Basement, and also as a one-off on my official YouTube Channel.  So I guess I have some concern about remembering all the words and everything.  But I really love both those tunes, so I'm pretty stoked to play them tonight.

I am getting more and more excited as the start time of tonight's music approaches.  I've really missed playing for people, and it feels incredibly good not just to get back to it tonight, but also to know that this is the start of what I hope will be many live performances to come in the near future.
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New Song on Video: 'Fly, Baby, Fly'

Like many songwriters, I suppose, I've always felt a little reluctant to describe what inspired the lyrics for any of my songs.  First, many of my songs are not just drawn from one single inspiration about one specific thing.  Often a song is a collection of thoughts, feelings and ideas that seem to somehow come together.  Second, I  like each individual listener to be able to take away from the song what they hear, relate to and are moved by.  I have a concern that if I give too much away, it prevents the listener from deriving their own unique meaning from it.

But I also share a fascination with the songwriters I am interested in, as to what were the real-life people, events, and emotions that went into their works that I enjoy.

So I wrote this new song, yesterday, and shot a video performance of it which appears above.

What I'd like to say about it is this.  Throughout my life, there have been those people and groups, some in my life directly, and some out in the American culture at large, who have supported my creative spirit and specifically, my desire - well, need, really, to write songs and share them with people.  And there have been others who have not been supportive, who have, directly or indirectly, strongly urged me not to pursue my creativity and my dreams for it.

I also see now that this is the experience of almost every creative artist I know.  We seem to internalize it, until it becomes a never-ending series of battles in our minds, always the same.  Do your art, don't do your art.  This inner war can be very painful.  Because for me, the voice that tells me to do my art, to follow my creative ideas, to write and play my music, is the voice of my True Self.  Call it my heart, my soul, my spirit, my Inner Artist.  The other voice, the voice that told me not to do my art, was really just a recording of all those other voices out in the world, who told me it would be scary, and/or dangerous, and/or just plain wrong to create new things from my talents and gifts, and to share them with people. I just replayed that recording again and again.  In essence, I was telling myself not to be who I truly am.

So this song is for me, and for everyone who has ever had a creative impulse, an artistic idea, a dream, but who has had to fight that negative voice in their head, just to get it out.  Let's all listen to our true, inner voices, and fly, baby, fly!

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A Poem in New Mexico: "Altitude"

Just came across this in going through my journal.  I wrote it in Santa Fe, New Mexico, this past November, on my trip from the East Coast to San Diego.  I could share all the circumstances that led to it, but I think it's best if I just let it stand on its own.  The photo was taken a short while before I wrote it.

"Altitude"

I cannot tell you
How I was led to this place
The call of the mountain
The arms of grace
Embraced by a warm fire
Burning in the pure, cold air
Cleansing and tempering
The space within me
My gums ache
The muscles in my arms hurt
My tongue is constrained
But here I am free
The happy shouts of the children
Point the way back to myself
This dizzy altered state
Will soon yield to something else
But I will never lose
The fruits of what happened here
They are etched into my very marrow
Like ancient drawings into stone


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